My Compulsive Gambler

Our library has an ongoing book sale as a fundraiser. People take in their "old" books and you can buy them for 25 cents -$1. On Thursday I walked out with two books, no 3 actually - Dr Spocks Baby and Child Care, John Rosemond's Six-point plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children and some Mars/Venus book on diet and exercise. Did I really want any of these books ? No of course not ... but they came to 75cents!

I am actually reading them though - I am well into the 6 point plan and felt particularly drawn to the chapter on discipline -"The Voice of Authority". I have discovered that I seem to have lost my voice of authority .... about the time Julia arrived. I send her to bed and she comes out again and again - it is exhausting and frustrating. This is what I read:

" Parents create rules and children test them. Testing is after all, a child's only way of discovering whether in fact a rule truly exists......

Inconsisitency causes children to "play" at misbehaviour in much the same way compulsive gamblers play at games of chance. Compulsive gamblers keep gambling even when they're losing their shirts, precisely because they can never predict when they are going to win. The randomness fuels the perpetual fantasy that Lady Luck might be just one more throw of the dice away. In the same manner, unpredictable discipline causes children to keep throwing the dice of misbehaviour. The only difference between compulsive gamblers and children is that while gamblers eventually run out of money, children never run out of energy!"

SO TRUE - they NEVER do. He says discipline should never be a big deal. As a parent you should be like a referee - consistent and dispassionate. I think my problem is that I am constantly trying to come up with something that will WORK to get through to Julia. What she really needs is consistency - anything but just stick to it.

I always tell new parents this when they ask me my opinion on whether the baby should sleep in bed with them or in a crib or simiar questions. I say it really doesn't matter but they should decide what they want in the long run and stick with it - a baby needs consistency, to know what to expect. Somewhere between babyhood and 3 years I seem to loose my mind though. I think too much and get too tired and have forgotten that simple is ALWAYS better. So today I began my discipline crusade. Instead of having different consequences for each blatant act of disobedience there is one consequence - if you do not do what I ask, you go to your room for 2 minutes ( figure this is a good time for a 2 year old). Already Julia only came out twice after bed time tonight. She came out saying she was hungry - and I know she was because she had not eaten much. But I said she could eat tomorrow because it was bed time and sent her back to her room. I felt bad and was very tempted to make her something to eat ... but for the sake of consistency and simple bed times and obedient children.... she went to bed hungry.... but secure in the predictability of it all!!

Stay tuned to find out how Julia outsmarts mom next time;)